feel.

I can't trust those decisions, i wasn't doing what i wanted. It was what you wanted.

I'm running through dark rooms, and shes always on her way. NO hiding in bath tubs, it won't help anyway.

I pull the shower curtain around me,
who would of thought putting two
of these contraptions in one room was practical?

The first of the second time you touch me, i cried, i really criedI had been holding that in for a while, just too see e your quit slinking face when i let myself go.

there is a reason I'm always so cold around you.
its so i won't have to lose any part of me while your around.
I'm still very soft and you can't have more until you've earned it.
which isn't very much of a reality.
so here i say again.
out.
five in the morning.
asking myself, and trying not too.
i should really be under my sheet,
sleeping.

I feel so quite
I feel so guilty
I feel so cold
I feel so stiff
I feel so sore
I feel nothing.
When then can you live off nothing for a day?

maybe two?
three is better.

now, its the morning of the fifth, and it doesn't feel so bad anymore,
i can start to bury my bands in my collar bones again.

this feels so powerful.
drive.


But I almost forgot,
I'm not allowed too feel.